最诚实的自己

2011 I am coming!!!!!!!

2010-12-31T07:42:00.000-08:00

Yet another year filled with self-loathing remorseful unhappiness sadness disappointment gruesome troublesome unfaithful unachievable giving up on myself my friends my classmates my family my churchmates my lord
ALL of these I am throwing away Now,at this very moment near end of 2010 bid a farewell to u guys negativity which was once my very old partners in life

Happiness cheerfulness caring lovely considerate achievement hopefulness positivity will attract by my extremely good magnetic field n babe of all come come come to MEEeeeeeee^^
I love my god love myself love my family love my friends love my classmates love my churchmates love myaccquaintances
N EVery strangers even everything on earth in universe
I Love u n longlive my love with this very existence !!!
Happy 2011 I love u~~still^^

relationship with God

2010-11-11T00:51:00.000-08:00

Abba father or our father in heaven
his beloved son that died on cross for his sinful people,who is Jesus Christ.
to be honest,the thought n action to really write something bout me n god is a mind i never ever consider i will possess
not as if i do believe now
im still in mist of inexplicable incomprehensible but i do wan to write my affectionate towards my abba father n my beloved brother
as my church mates always told me
we r all his beloved children his princes and princess

i wan to jot down how He loves me how He help me through every hard situation how He encourage me to overcome every gap i thought were impossible to pass by n how He let me be the person i dream to be n even a more better human being in my own eyes n i do hope am a more better daughter to honor my lord in heaven too
follow all his wishes commands wills live in his purpose makes my life perfect
n His love satisfy my soul heal all my pain touch my deepest n softest part of my heart like no one ever been
He is like the one who come in my secret garden of soul n filled me with pure love joy peace gentleness and every good feelings in this earth n heaven
He is my savior
warrior
rabbi
father
n my everything
all joy n honor is urs,my father
may these few words can represent my thankful heart my gratitude mind
PRAISE GOD
amen.

2010-11-11T00:50:00.000-08:00

两人分手后多年

在一个城市不期而遇

男：“你好吗?”

女：“好”

男：“他好吗?”

女：“好”

女：“你好吗?”

男：“好”

女：“她好吗?”

男：“她刚才告诉我她很好”

have been long

2010-11-05T05:24:00.000-07:00

since i last posted my feelings and situation
i simply cnt bring myself to jot down any single thing
because i can never describe its complexity
but
the latest thing which overwhelmed me n ride rough shod over my mind was
betrayal.
the efforts i paid
the compassion i gave
the jobs i had done
was NOTHING
meaningless,
what am i in ur eyes?
how can u ever bear to let me suffered from all this suffocation?
u r so cruel yet ruthless
how can u ever did thaT to ME n pretend as if u do not know ?
stop acting
U R NOT INNOCENT

i cannot bring myself to hate u because i loved u once
i forgave u because grudge will cage my heart
but u ass
i m waving my words of sword indignantly
just like how u hurt me deeply with insulting phrases once
however my sword wont falls on u,
it will strike
through obstacle n emotional gaps i had taken as granted from u
my old hub my ex hon
do bear in mind
u can never keep skeleton in ur cupboard always
it will eventually drop out
n the skeleton head shall roll n touch all ur victims feet
be prepared
prepared for the day when u bow n apologize for what u've done that i knew n u knew
yet they who still keeping in the darkness of secrecy dont
the day is near
though speech of apology wont save u far

trash bin

2010-07-21T01:39:00.000-07:00

i need a trash bin
i cant bear to tell anyone bout my bad mood n bad experience n bad feelings
for i know
negative emotions spread far more easy than positive's
i do not want any of my accquaintance to feel it
to feel how bad how terrible i am feeling now

am during the female suffer day
feeling extremely dizzy and pain
hang myself on n went to college
was hoping for a fresh start to wash away all my negativity
instead of that
my atm card was rejected by the (bad word)atm machine
when i was fighting with the machine's electric force to push my card back inside it
to protect itself virginity
the (bad wordsssss)machine actually exert pressure through my card n hurt my flesh between finger n nail><
it bleed man!
ok,i forgave the ignorance and gulible machine since it do not possess a brain

but one of my course mate whom certainly growth with brain cell
did throw my practical booklet until it tore when i went over to take it n also to give him the newspaper he wanted just to warn me not to go any closer and nearer?
what on earth?
have i been living in the moon before this?

the dxxnest which happened was
someone kicked the vinegar i bought n kept n brought to college for the chemistry practical
and my vulnerable glass vinegar-container
kissed with the cement floor
then
then
then
broke into pieces with splashed of last blood which color was pure clear-crystal
i sadly
picked up the last part of its bodies
n had an intimate close touch with its blood which made me nearly scream out due to the painfulness i felt of my wound
i understood,its soul was unrest.

last part of my dxxn day
i went to buy a new vinegar
when i was on my way
feeling extremely tired n feed up way
i'd received a msg
we had got vinegar,no worries.
OK.
i understood.
thats y i went home straightly n directly without even bother to tell anyone.

its sxxks to be a class rep
its even sxxks to ruin everything i had prepared for long
today was so suxxs until i wan to cry.

冷冷清清

2010-06-30T07:07:00.000-07:00

冷冷清清淡淡
念家的我
恋人的心
时时刻刻
问着问着。。。
明月到底何时照我还？

跟好朋友保持距离
跟陌生人聊心事
心寒它的过于真实
丫或惊于它于自己的神似度？

文化不是差异
语言不是障碍
年龄不是问题
那么沟通方式呢？

家人

2010-06-07T04:03:00.000-07:00

让我喘不过气
让我做不成真实的自己
我做什么都不对
那为何你们还要管？
让我做自己
让我做我该做的事
让我符合我的宿命
让我飞。

hey,man!

2010-06-07T03:54:00.000-07:00

u knew wat u had done on me
and i knew tat exactly too
but tat dont drives me near u

i love u

2010-06-07T03:29:00.000-07:00

now or before?
forever or present?

i have been tired of being what people expected me to be
tired of being someone who ppl loved
tired of wearing maskssss which cause sometimes i dun even know who i am
which one will be the real me
for only today？

moody is like a protection and armour
r u mask-ing it becoz of its security?
becoz tat can scare ppl off far away from u?
i dunno wat i am talking about now.

only when i pray
only when i can feel god's presence
my mind is at ease
only then i can rest
as HE will bring love n peace into my heart
GOD loves me
no matter who i am
no matter what i have done
cause ho understand me
even know me
deep more inside than me
as he had created me.
go with lord.
praise GOD.

何去何从？

2010-06-07T03:23:00.000-07:00

曾经那么坚定的方向
彷徨了吗?
曾经那么远大的目标
因为现实的磨练
而
而淡忘了吗？
哈
我不准
我不许
你，
似个凡人般
忘记梦想
忘记飞翔
忘记快乐
忘记理想
忘记未来
。

我将带你通往你要的。
这是我对你的承诺
我会做到。
在这之前
不要让任何人事物
带你遁入
黑涯。

shall we be together,forever?

2010-05-08T05:34:00.000-07:00

i know im asking too much
i know im insensible
just that
wat if we can stick together for all of our life
how awesome will tat be?
cant imagine tat rite^^
told u ~
tat will be simply wonderful.

i love u all so so so so so so(x100000000)much
i dunwan to separate with any of u
but the fact is impossible to be conquer by the virtual...
and im learning to accept it as a part n parcel of human's life
and also one of the vital district from growth cycle

i understand if we didnt separate
we will never learn what we have to
n we will all crammed in the same place n fighting for air and space
certainly n definitely
we deserved more than that
much more than.

so we all could bear the pain of segregation
for the day of success which will savor by us sweetly
we will learn more n meet more n be far more experience than
what we r now
we will grow
we will hurt
we will recover
and somehow we may lost some precious personality during our period
of war of survivor
but i sincerely hope tat n know tat
the tendency of our all's heart would never ever disappear

love u all deep in my heart n my soul
and i use to believe tat u all love me as different of my way but same of my depth too until forever^^
haha

相处少一点点期待，对人将更自在。

2010-05-07T02:30:00.000-07:00

yeah
我们对人对事
常不自觉地带有深浅不一的期待
越是在乎深爱着的人
对对方的期待
就越是深沉
期待对方的热情期待对方的讨好期待对方的表现
于是
当我们的期待不被满足
就像饥渴的人不被餍足
失望透顶失落沙洲
而我们的彼方
又何罪之有？
善良的我们不忍也不能更不知如何怪罪
只好自己暗自内伤默默沮丧
只是为何我们要让自己活在如此卑微的期待和如此任性的别扭里？
何不就此解放自己的心灵解放所有的繁琐？
让心自在的飞扬
让人际关系轻舞飞翔
我们将更幸福更快乐更自在
解除期待误区，放开虚伪假装，我们将更自在。

hey,honey!

2010-05-05T23:05:00.000-07:00

hey
honey!
u always ask me
how dare i to be a miss no n no n no?
i cnt give u an exact n precise answer as time we met often too short for longer n deeper conversation
so as a friend who loves u deeply
im going to press the cancel key of ur doubts n troubles here~
firstly,
we all have the right to say a "NO" to evryone n evrything
as we r the one who controls our life's direction
not others nor he she it
just us and just me and of coz just u.

"but how??!!i can't do it!im so scared i might irriate others and im a coward!"
listen,honey~
u r not a coward,u r braver than many others,
at least u no wat ur problem is n u try to overcome it
u r making ur life better! my sweetheart
the only option is
know who u r n wat u wanna be in ur life
we all need to find our position in this little complicated n much funs world with bit of determination n persistent of coz~
i suppose tats the answer u r chasing for?
or shall i make more details about it?
well,for example of my own,
when my mom said,
ok peggy u shall take an accountant course for i think it is good for u
then i will reply her
alrite mom,since u like tat course like hell,den maybe i can register it for u.
oh my,u dunnno how furious she is~hahahaha~

the secret is:
never obey n rely anything u know u dunwan
and dun ask me how i know i dunwan
wat if i love it after i give a try
yes,we cnt be so sure for things in this keep changing world
BUT
when i even feel struggle to think of how my life will become if i be an obedient cutie~i know directly i wont like it,at least now.I WOULD NOT.
just like how i hate my menstrual pain,i suppose~

so sweetie
now u know y n how i earn my nickname rite?
haha
n u hav no idea how much i like miss no n no n no
like i like my miss perfect lady~

life is equal
nothing ventured nothing gained
n stop thought grass on my side is greener then urs
just put some pepper onto it~
u can do it^^
kambateh~++++UUUUU!!!

stop it,im thinking.

2010-03-19T09:07:00.000-07:00

我在思考着
我在烦恼着
哭泣酝酿着。

因为不愿放弃
因为还有希望
所以甘愿哭泣

把所有的所有
不甘的
不愿的
消极的
负面的
悲伤的
压力的

统统宣泄
然后重新开始

因为不是完全相信自己是
可以的
因为还很不安
因为感觉孤独
所以哭泣
把所有的恐惧
放下吧

迎向美好的光明前
总得先
拥抱
阴影。

a starting

2010-03-18T00:38:00.000-07:00

another starting point to
another new world journey ,new world view ,new world value
im facing my new challenges bravely

my heart is calm n full with peacefulness
like lake without any reprises and ripples
im resting n recovering from the cruelness i'd met months
n preparing
for the life i had yearn for years

laptop college course books exam friends new environment
im prepared.
come ahead.
im stronger than ever

vex---ing

2010-02-15T00:21:00.000-08:00

firstly
happy CNY and valentine to every1（whom only read my blog la,haha）
secondly
im in trouble==

minor major big minor small major

im tired

i cnt make any rational decision

my life is falling apart

and i want to shout out 'FUCK IT' loud!!!!!!

命中注定？

2010-02-11T09:51:00.000-08:00

难道是命中注定？
5年来
不是没有拥有过爱情
但是
从没在5年的任何一个代表爱情的节日里
有情人的相伴

有时
不禁会哀呼道：
怎么会那么那么衰啊....
但一转身就会继续若无其事的微笑

我想
我是害怕寂寞的坚强伪装者。

我的心

2010-01-08T05:31:00.000-08:00

我好累
我被一份无奈的约束给折磨的
不成人形。

我好倦
是因为家是人们的避风港
所以一回到属于自己气息的安全地时
就整个人瘫痪崩溃
无法掩饰了吗？

我想哭
天天面对自己无法解除的束缚
是一种多么强大的无力感

我无奈
是因为我没有选择权。

我只是一只任人宰割的猿。

not getting better

2009-12-31T10:57:00.000-08:00

I am in lost.

It is 1/1/2010,a new day and first day for the start of 2010.My heart is filled,with the feels that too complicated until I cannot even describe it. All feelings mixed up and turn my heart into a palette which had terribly-after-storm-colors. Blue is for lost and depress and unhappy,red is for passion and enthusiastic and warmth,purple is for sadness in elegance,white is for purity of our friendship and this unpolluted happy gathering,black?is the space for U. A space to miss u and the need u and wait u and love u.

Haiz...i am heaving my eternity sigh again!But why?i need a reason for me-myself. Why am I always fell in a relationship with miles and miles of distance between us?Is this also part and parcel of my life too?My nerve is breaking and my heart ached when u complaint or dismayed for my absence in either your activities or your daily life. Am I the 1 who r being selfish in our love mission?

I am disorienting too. Is love still a task which too hard for my vulnerable soul?

zigzag-ing

2009-12-31T10:55:00.000-08:00

Today is a rare strange day that filled with kinds of emotions and feelings.

I had had a bad mood today due to my mum”s playing tantrum after she came home from her workstation,but that is not the main point for me to record this memorial.

I had have a new partner in my life journey and I found that I am quite amuse by this thought^^maybe that is what I really desired for.

Love is something very weird or in better enhanced word : POWERFUL ~
something that will makes ur life become so different even without a safety cautious warning. Love is dangerous it can excavate ur heart and let you cry until u think u will be dying soon and it can also ease ur heart easily with some non-carbohydrate-contained sweeties. Can u see the way that I am pointing or refering at?

Im just a teen which had fall in love.

dilemma

2009-12-31T10:53:00.000-08:00

我想知道在你眼里的我会是什么样子

我想知道当你发现我其实并不如你想象中那么美好时

你

会怎么做？

我很不安

因为我知道自己其实没有你想象中的那么好

对于你的追求

我并不感到讶异

只因我能感觉到

你对我的感觉

就如我对你的感觉般

如此真实

如此贴近

如此美好。。

但是我们之间有着距离

而且不短。

不是以米或者厘米计算的距离

而是心与心之间的空间与温度

你刚从一段感情中

解脱

5年是段不短的岁月

你

能在被放开和放开后

立刻马上投入另一段感情吗？

请不要让我怀疑你们男人对感情的投入与忠诚度。

另一个让我深感不安的证据是

你不常想到我。

或是在你的世界里

这已经是你频繁的证明

但，在我的世界里

不是。

有事的话

请你和我说一声

好吗?

距离已经存在了

为何你还要拉长它？

我想我没有资格提出这种要求

因为我不是的谁

我一直等着你的信息

等待着那信铃的响起

我等待的煎熬你了解吗？

或许我一辈子都不会告诉你我的想法

不要问我为什么

因为这就是我

或者说

因为现在还没有必要

和你坦诚相对。

人性都是不堪揭露的

唯有真爱才经得起考验

我们之间有吗？

我又多想了

哈哈

明明只是普通朋友= =

但是

你很荣幸

因为你能牵动起我的喜怒哀乐

或许蛮久以后

我还会记得你

甚至

写下文章纪念你带给我的曾经欢喜与忧愁

我很缺乏安全感

你

能给我吗？

现在

我选择不回你的信息

因为

我想要你

打给我

哄哄我。

理智的另一段扯着我

别回信

别让他哄你

别让他就这样

闯进你的生命里

留下太深的足迹

但是

还来得及吗？

离家@舍

2009-12-31T10:51:00.000-08:00

离家会是一种什么样的感觉呢？

曾经我是个爱飞的孩子，总是向往着城堡以外的天空，梦想着无拘无束的自由。曾经我是那么的望眼欲穿着急的想要离开急着想要舒展我僵硬的羽翼向外飞翔。

如今机会已得。奈何自问心境竟是些许的惶恐夹杂不安。。我该如何是好，即使心里已有明确的方向却还是忍不住的担忧。我该如何是好啊！

扪心自问，自己终究只是个孩子。17岁，该是天真无邪的年龄。

怎，我却开始发愁了。

这是一条我自己选择的道路丫，到不熟悉的世界去闯，到全新的环境去适应，一切一切的到，皆因我的离。正如佛经所说，有舍才有得。

我舍的是我所熟悉的一切，放的是让我安定成熟似乎感觉不再漂泊的家。而我的得呢？

还看不见，还不知道。

所以有时不得不说，人生真的是一场下大赌注的冒险，因为你永远不会知道你的牺牲换来的是什么。但有句话很对：不牺牲，不冒险

你就永远都不会知道，你的下一步是什么；你的人生路能走多远，你的眼界能多开阔，就看现在这一脚步的抉择了。

而我选择离开。

离开温暖，离开保护，离开安定，离开平安。

走向勇于创立新主张，勇于认清自己，勇于面对世界的

自己。

有舍才有得。

之所以离开，

是为了能够，

再次的回来

i need u

2009-12-09T06:48:00.000-08:00

we spent our time in redbox for 2-3hours
n in harris for almost 1 n a half hours
we spent more than 1/2 of our day togather
by today^^

u all know wat?
i feel good
when we were in redbox
i felt warmth beneath me
tats wat true n stable relationship bring
i think?

in harris
when we share the pictures on the books
wonders of the world,100 greatest fims,places in the world
n everything
let me feel so so wonderful
its amazing tat deep inside me

im not furious nor even desperate
when u all stop me or try to forbide me to buy the book with name 孤独癖
i can feel concerness
in u all's voice
however
u all still defeat by my persistent
but tats the end word^^
haha
how much i like u all^^

now
in the almost middle of the night
i want to share something
some of my great feeling
with ....
with who?
i wonder
there is no1 i can talk with
but im bless
to have my blog
at least to express
right?^^

ps:everytime when i wrote my blog.i tried to use interesting phrases,to fulfill my perfection.but this time,im not going to enhance nor elaborate anything.every of them
r my heart.

bread+butter

2009-12-07T23:57:00.000-08:00

bread+butter = u'd cursed
yes
so if u r eating any-food-related-butter
licked it
before u finish it in a mouthful
n get food poison

FOOD POISON
a nouns tat i think had disappear or never ever appear in my life
had intruded
during my precious spm-exam-period

two days ago
i had eaten pieces of bread with kaya+butter
n resulted in
diarrhea n vomit unstop-ably
n
i had been sent into the hospital for emergency
as my limbs cramped n numb
n no oxygen can fight into my lungs successfully

things never end easily as ppl thought
when my innocent mind was out of caution's area
n think i may hav a good day on my today's exam
tats certainly was another terrible mistake i'd made
my stomach was the first warrior which made demonstration
n my gastric intestine colon followed
like brainless or something tat only knows to follow
ops
pardon
they r really brainless.

exam start in 8 o'clock in the morning n end 330 afternoon
the revolt started accurately after 1030 n didnt end untill now
what else can i say since my digestive system true-ly work as a system,
so united n systematic?

大腦自動保衛系統

2009-12-04T03:47:00.000-08:00

我相信他的存在
因為失去了你
以後
我告訴自己
我討厭狗
我害怕狗

當故意被塵封的回憶
被重新翻起
我想也是時後走出過去了

狗狗
我總是在曾經里
迷路打轉
你願意再來帶領我這個笨笨的主人走出過去嗎?
我相信你一定不會迷路的
就像你永遠都在前頭等著我一樣
carpet
等我
我會走出以前的種種不堪和傷悲
並重新邁開新的步伐的
我答應你
也答應自己
把童年陰影丟掉
那不能當飯吃
把怨恨憤怒丟掉
把過去不滿通通丟掉
我就真的會重生

carpet
u dunno how much i love u
even me myself dunno why i love u so
but u left me alone again
and i had never blame u 4 tat

carpet
dis is a promise
only me n u
i will throw away all the burdens tat lay on me
n u
juz stay where u r
until i find u
or try to solve ur way
HOME
k?
love u,much n much.

carpet

2009-12-04T01:27:00.000-08:00

親愛的
我昨天看見了你的同類
在馬路旁
流浪
在我們快樂的吃著火鍋時

它看起來好餓
於是我拿起食物丟向它
怎知它卻閃開了
眼里透露出害怕的光芒

是被人類傷害的太深了
導致陰影都忘了逃走
押或只是單純的生存的本能呢?

親愛的
我又想你了
在你失蹤的數年後

我不想說這是一片祭文
因為再未親眼見証你的死亡前
我相信你仍舊和我一起生活在同一起世界裡
享受著同一種美好空氣
這只是一點懷念
懷念失去你以前
那段奔跑的歲月

親愛的carpet
我想你了
別再讓我拿麼憂傷了
好嗎?
回家吧
我們正等著你呢
希望這多年以來被證據壓藏在心底的呼喚
能喚回你

if u ever listen

2009-11-28T21:14:00.000-08:00

yes
u all r rite
yes
erm
ya
ok
correct

dun let me feel like an idiot
if i wan to apply "MY" scholarship
i will do it by myself
i definitely appreciate u all's concern
as im not too arrogant to reject every help

but
dun u know im checking every scholarship
since years ago?
dun u no the things u talk n talk
is the things tat i had known as a basic?
shit
y others ppl said was always the most correct way to follow
n mine was juz like craps?
if u really listen to me ever be4
u will no
wat i had tried
u will no
im not still unprepared n dunno wats going after spm

an unprepared student
wont always study n study n study
n always try his/her best in exam n exam n exam untill he/she looks ten years older
if im a dumb-head fellow
tat still didnt even foreseen any obstacle in my future
den i deserve to be fail in my life
but wat if i have some intuition about wat will happen?
den shall i say?
shall i ask?
about ur permission to close up ur mouth n juz listen
like u have never do it be4?

if u ever listen
the world will become better
at least mine

do i look like a P U P P E T ?

2009-11-28T20:48:00.000-08:00

hey
im asking u u u u u u n u u u u u
do i look like a damn puppet?
tat kind of pity thing which u all can spur on ur finger like a piece of cake?
i tell u
seriously
im NOT
try me if u wan to confirm

u say u want to go to kl n genting
u say dun go to the camp
or get out from there earlier
wat the HELL
r u talking about?
n sorry i cnt understand ur alien's language.
or do u wish me to take out all the evidence tat u had promise to let me particapate n organize the camp YEARS ago
like a lawyer or a reporter who always talk load of craps on all the past tense?
but i don wan to show my "low"
u allllllll
is a team
very united
to tell me off
"dun be selfish,why cnt u come out earlier do u no how much trouble if u dont FOLLOW OUR INSTRUCTION?"(FOI is their true meaning which hide n hind among their pretty words)i juz like to speak out the truth
as im still young still have the ability to speak out my clear mind

and now
listen
if im selfish
i will also be irresponsible
if im both selfish n irresponsible
den i will go straight n directly with your's plan
to have fun
y should i go to the camp n do the chores?
use ur butt to think
wat will happen if a team leader leave the camp earlier?
wat will my team feel?
will they still be high-spirite?
wont it be a regret for us?
our camp title for this year is"cherish our time and dun left any regret"
i dun wan my camper to feel any single uncompleted.
n i think i shal also remind u tat
im form 5
after this year the chance for meeting my frend is less than 0.1 percent
and wat i will do is to
absent all the after-spm party,last-friendship party,christmas eve,christmas and even games n day-fun tat they organize juz to make up my lost in camp
wat i will do is to drain all my friends effort into the never come back n return of the sea of time
so now
tell me what to do if u r me
taking all the things into account n give me a perfect plan which can do better than mine(after camp rush directly to kl n rushing back for 1231 which can fulfill urs mine's n frend's wishs or expectation)
n i will follow it
like ur puppet

caffein~wat have u done>.<

2009-11-25T04:56:00.000-08:00

today is my add math exam
to perk up my feeble n over-exhausted-mind
i drank coffee==
urgh
the smell is nice n the taste is nice too
but
the side-effect is always as strong as i first drank it
lets talk about its advantage 1st
yup,it fulfill my requirement
as it really fresh up my mind n rose my spirit up
n it had gave me an equal chance to fight with the mental-torture-questions
however
it had also lead to
not juz gastric pain such a trivial matter
but is gastric-very-WTH-pain
urgh x 100000000000
i think im dying

胡旋舞

2009-11-12T09:10:00.000-08:00

回忆在脑海里不停的跳着胡旋舞
舞蹈员是你和我
背景乐是欢笑声

场面突然切换
舞蹈员仍是你和我
场景在那学校里
我听不见背景乐
因为我看见你的泪

胡旋舞啊
转呀转
带走了回忆
转换了时代

某年后的某一天
路上
我撞见了你熟悉的侧脸
心跳为我打拍子
胡旋舞再次欢跳

走向前去
瞧见
你陌生戒备的表情
顿时
微笑凝结脸孔
眼神支离破碎
心跳乱了节拍
胡旋舞啊
已
注定无法再次旋转

juz some venting

2009-11-12T08:14:00.000-08:00

today is the last day for our secondary school..

to my same age friends,
when u walk past the school
wat do u feel?
wat do u think?
has the memory keep dancing in our mind like mine?
or juz
NOTHING?
nothing left 4 ur years?

to friends beyond my age,how do u feel
when u gone through this?
will friend remain friend after the graduation?
how long will the sadness remain?
im wondering...

to friend below my age
the feeling tat r mixing up n haunted me down in the middle of the nite
in the important-preparation-time 4 spm
may haunt u too
so cherish every moment u hav
'we cnt change the fate to separate,but at least we have something in our mind,
the precious tat we never ever want to let go n let off'

i'm being emotional again
as dis is the 1st time we really need to face separation...
we welcome every holidays n met again soon after it
but after dis holiday n after dis spm
wat is facing us??
surely it wont be urs hers his familliar faces
n u all also wont c mine
can i manage to make new friends in new circunstance n environment without u all?
can i still have friend tat can talk-to-heart?
we used ages to culture our friendship+trust+familliarity
we had get used to each others accmopany
wat will happen to us after dis?
always remember?always in contact?
im doubting
but i try to believe

u all maybe thinking im worry-ing for nothing
as im well-known with my sociability n friendly
n can cope everything
handle my own negative thinking n all the same-side-product of it
independent ask 4 help when in need n watsoever
so in conclude
i will be perfectly fine if where-ever i go
however
all of the achievement n good image
is just the contribution of u all...

without u all
who am i going to cry out with?
who am i going to shout out loud n say wat i hate?
who am i going to confess everything?
who am i going to say how irriatable this ppl is n how i like xxx?
u think im going to tell others which always give me 100 marks?
u think im going to tell they who always thought im the toughest n can face everything with a smile-ly n cheerful face?
u think im going to tell they who never even once guess on wat i thought?
or telling the them how unease can i be although i seem calm n nature?
they wil never believe it.
they will only believe wat they had seen
a polite(hypocrite)teacher's pet,helpful,kind,good-temper,leadership bla bla bla
tats an angel but not me
they dunno but u all knew
since long time ago
pt no how much i love to cry
sc no how childish i am
lim no my untolerance-able behaviour
tkf no my perplexed
huay no how i dun take k bout my health
hw no how emotional i am
n qian+yi+wen+many..
no my stupid past
no my crazy mind
no my clumsiness
no how i love our band
understand my problems
n give me all the care+help

i have numerous of weakness
i had done stupid things
u all accepted it（深受我的毒害）
accepted both the bad n good of me
n never ever complaint it
tats wat real friends do
and im such a fortunate girl
which bless by god
4 HE had grant me
all of me
as my friend

FRIENDSHIP for just dis lifetime
k?

U're my mom。

2009-11-08T04:09:00.000-08:00

woke up early in the morning
i have a bad mood
the hours i slept was not more than half of my fingers sum
dis time u irriate me again
with ur same annoying tone n fabricated accusation
i listen
n keep my mouth shut TIGHTLY

the time i lost my cool
was because of the complacent look on ur face n on ur sound when my frens reached
wat the hell r u showing off of??
u think u'd got all the reasons of the world
u think wat u thought was damn rite
u think wat u guess was definitely the truth?
dun U?

i tried my best to concentrate on our study-ing subject
i even wrote down stay ur cool on my table
all thing i've done
was juz to clear up the negative emotion u gave
as i had mention
in the EARLY OF THE MORNING

but
after all
u r
still my mom
u made sandwich 4 us after u understand u'd wrongly accuse
a victim
althought
u still didnt speak nicely
u still venting ur overcast emotion on me
im more tolerance-able
towards ur behavior
as u r my mom
n u always will be
n im thankful :

thanks for breeding me up
thanks for working hard
thanks for giving me sisters aldo they r truely demons
thanks for giving me money
thabks for provided us a home
thanks for letting us have meals
thanks for not giving up on hope
thanks for being so strong
thanks for everything
my mom

i know im as stubborn as u
i no im a very asian-tradition girl which will only hide my feelings up
so
i wrote this
i hope tat
one day when im no longer at home
when u r miss-ing me
u can c this n no
how much i love u
I LOVE U ,MOM

life seems not so hard now~

2009-11-06T07:57:00.000-08:00

wandering in the internet world
i know im not lost
but my heart feel empty
its a friday nite n i no i muz sleep earlier as next day's morning i still have a 8 o'clock study group
i juz cnt
i read some chinese-online-novel
its damn bore(im even lame-r)

im torturing myself as i'd always
its the same friday-n-sat-nite-waiting-virus
which i had affected years ago
the person i had waited was not my 1 anymore
i combed out my mind
n i cnt find any reason 4 my waiting
it is just a
HABIT
the most powerful n terrible thing in the world

i spent uncountable minutessss
in front of the computer yet doing nothing
my soul is roaming
in some dark alley
the place tat i can never reach
o my soul
when u want to come back home?
my rational is missing u

at the nick of time
my hand press on a few key n search 4 ANU(australian national u)
n wow
i found it
the application form for scholarship (fully sponsor for tuition fees+living expenses allowance)
comprise everything i need

suddenly
all the dark cloud n lightning n watsoever bad things ahead of me disappear
deng dang deng dang
sun reappear with his big warming smile
I LOVE IT~!

erm..
life doesnt seems so hard,
rite >_^

自我放假～

2009-11-05T18:42:00.001-08:00

一个星期上课5天
平均5 sn班的正常出席率
年头=100%
年中=100%
trial 后=65%
现在= 。。。。
算了。。
避免任何老师看到这个部落格时的过度感伤。。

每天的生活就像artery一样
高效率高活力高压力高刺激
这是我喜欢的生活
但，身体却不断发出讯息。。
头晕就是该吃饭了，
怎么睡都不够就是
过劳了==
唉。。
我知道：‘年少不养身，老来养医生’
只是。。这种养身的生活，也要有我最可敬的国家教育制度
填鸭式教育的批准才行丫，
不然啥都别想了
把心收一收
继续跟大伙儿拼书去～

离spm还剩下短短的
>..12天..<
在这被时间挤压的空间里
我们只能小声的呼吸
担心吵醒内心的控压系统
却要
大声的笑
惶恐压力满涨而出

战友们都病的一塌糊涂
也吐的一塌糊涂
让在热眼观看的我们
心惊胆颤
曾几何时
你们比最体弱的我（被威胁接下的称号）
容易被病菌侵袭了？？
因为压力吗？
因为拼命吗？
唉。。。

我妹说
我总是很悠哉
何时何地总是一副信心满满
我知道我该怎么做的欠扁模样
所以是个不了解人间疾苦（别人的烦恼）的少见-俗人
真的是这样的吗？
我也彷徨过
迷茫着（不过先被考试压下来了）
只是大家都看不见
躲在我坚强背后的软弱
因为那是一个不被看好的梦想
因为那是一个不被支持的决定
既然诉苦无门
既然我不是明星
何苦忍受那些对我重要事物的評击？
我不逆来收顺，当然我的决定也不
我是颗有弹性的球
压力越大阻碍越多
蹦的越高

前方的石头山
我看清了
虽然数不着石头的数量
我会加油
我会努力
因为我看得见石头背后的光芒

琪，加油！
再难的路
也一起走～
yeah~

at last...

2009-11-04T06:41:00.000-08:00

i had thought of many titlesss which i think i would put as dis title~
I had thought of cramp-img as i think my leg is going to cramp when my calf muscle contract nearly simultaneosly after sitting unconducively over a long period in mc donald 4 some HISTORY revision~
i had thought of OMG for i cnt see the possibility of being a member to organize n participate 100percently in our 1214-1219 camp without become a superwoman with hyperenergitic..
n in such a coincidence...im the 1 tat can turn my brain endlessly with the condition=never try my physical strength....
haha^^i guess the camp is another kind of thorn to test my endurance when fatigue+unbearable physical uncomfortable occur~~
conclude all the reasons n elaborations
i think choose any of them will be a pretty good choice
however...
i didnt~~
wait ..
be patient...
now...
i'll make i clean breast of my real motive to write dis ....
>>>>>>to increase my english standard n be more prepare 4 spm's english paper 1<<<<
n also to let my fren no's how am i~~
haha XD
the simplest thing always will be the vital ~~

只想再说一句

2009-11-03T08:16:00.000-08:00

真的真的
只想再说一句
我爱你
如果永永远远都不知道没发现你的想法
我会不会好过点？
如果从来没有这么多理论看法价值观
我们
又会不会
有好的结果？
只想解释
只想陈清
虽然你不知道
虽然
你看不到
但是
那时候
我说还想他
是因为你让我受伤了
他也让我受伤了
我说把你当挡箭牌
是因为
我无法揣测你态度下
暗藏的心思
当时的我
放弃了
与其徒留一个希望
不如完全毁灭吧
可我不知
会伤了你
请你相信
如果我知道你的心
曾经那么一分一毫的在乎过我
我不会选择极端
我会像现在这样
注视着你
就好
因为你的快乐就是我的幸福
就算知道其他人也发现了你的好
就算知道我终究不能给你幸福
就算心在痛
我还是会看着你
我还是会微笑的
看心碎裂
看你
幸福

又哭了。。

2009-11-03T08:09:00.000-08:00

一直以来
不断错认自己的心
认为自己还藕断丝连着上一个念念不忘
心的疼痛
却比我更诚实
被你拒绝的时候
佯装坚强的时候
笑着误会一切的时候
都
比不上看见你的难过时
更难过
我依旧很喜欢很喜欢你
但
把你推开的
也是我吧
我矛盾迷惑的心
不断的伤害着你
够了够了
这样的一个夜晚
我好痛
为什么不坦率说出自己的心？
为什么我又会抛不开尊严自尊
或是
害怕坦白后的友情崩溃？

today juz today

2009-11-01T06:23:00.000-08:00

ya
today
juz today
the day tat will never come back again
the day which not any of the other can replace by or with

today is the day which 5sn had had a class jamuan or feast
it is really a feast
the time we reach till an hour later
wat we do is...
eat.
n eat
n..
eat again==

im starting to think tat maybe we all r the reincarnation of africa's child
eat 4 our miserable past life
haha
tats juz my tea=time thinking/daydreaming when my brain were not i use
XD

we have our class party wt our beloved teacher cik jue's house
her house is the most ....
distinct house tat i had have ever ever seen
OMG!!
full with her favourite-orange color n ribbonssss n dollsssss
n everything is covered in orange!!
reallyyy
im not exagerate--ing
it

the orange garfields memo's curtain bed sheet pillows sheet lavatory's appliances
n toooooooooo many
we were amaze by it's decoration
really awe
be4 we left
she said we can stay for a nite
n we did wish we can
as she is so lonely...
two-storey house with three big rooms n 1 small room
only preserve her's

we love her deep in heart
so teacher
pls be married soon
><

we had taken many photos 4 today
n we intend to make into or collect into a photo album
4 our memory
last year's memory
after 44 days
where will we be???
such a big question_mark
but
at least
AT LEAST
we left our memory there
we left our youth's evidence there
THERE
as time passed
courses change
when we c it
we will no
deep in our heart
we will miss
the time we had spent together
is the best

语言与情感

2009-10-30T20:10:00.000-07:00

今天早上一起床，
突然很恐慌，
我，
好像忘了怎么说英文，
天啊！
这怎么可以呢。。。
英文带有我和老师的深深革命情感，
怎么能忘呢。。
时光一直重播，
小时候，
从国校转至华校，
华文不好，甚至于被同学排挤，
我不是不喜欢华文，
只是没办法掌握学习。。。
感恩上天，
让我遇到了一位很好的华文老师，
在我小学的最后一年里
硬是把我的华文从谷底扯到了地平线，
让我这个华人，
不至于成为无根的浮萍，
随着时间万物飘飘荡荡。。。
回忆去年，
初遇英文补习老师的那天，
一见面，
立刻就被他的气势给震撼到了。。
不是因为他很有魄力，
而是因为他骑着摩托车轰隆轰隆的朝着我驶来。。
吓都吓呆了==
从那天起，
我们便结下了不解之缘，
不同国籍不同种族甚至于不同语言年龄差距很大的两人
莫名其妙的就亲如父女了。。
眷上了英文，因为有他而爱上了华文着因为有她。
我想，
我爱语文，
不只因为语言是让人类沟通的桥梁，
也因为它
是我和老师们的情感牵绊
心中永远最眷恋的温暖。

1024¬¬¬

2009-10-30T19:53:00.000-07:00

its the day be4 my frend was borned...
he had a party,
n we join it.
tat day,
im sad.
he was the 1 i like much or is
n i'd declared my feeling more than once,
but he never give me even a response.
after i struggled through thinking dilemma
wat welcome me was ignorant from him n maybe unconcerness..
i no i cnt have extravagant hope but the things juz out of my control
my minds greed my heart scream,
4 more n more,
more concern more sense of secure
let me feel ur heart or turn me down totally
i don wan to turn the table
i juz need an answer
u,
tell me how u feel.

2009-10-22T02:10:00.001-07:00

Steps on How to be Patient Person1. Try to figure out why you're in such a hurry. We tend to lose our patience when we're multi-tasking or when we're on a tight schedule. If you're stretching yourself too thin, you should reconsider your to-do list before you attempt to change your natural reaction to an overwhelming situation. Try to spread out your tasks so that you're doing only one thing at a time. Delegate responsibilities to others if you can; this in itself may be a test of your patience, but you have to learn to share the load.

2. Pinpoint the triggers that often make you lose your patience. Impatience creeps in insidiously, and if you feel anxious, worried, or unhappy you may not even realize that the underlying cause of these feelings is impatience. To reduce the frequency of impatience, it helps to be aware of it. Which events, people, phrases or circumstances always seem to make you lose your cool? Sit down and make a list of all the things which cause you anxiety, tension, or frustration. At the core of most triggers is a reality that we have a hard time accepting. What are those realities for you?

3. Overcome bouts of impatience. In the long run, developing patience requires a change in your attitude about life, but you can immediately make progress by learning to relax whenever you feel impatient. Take a few deep breaths and just try to clear your mind. Concentrate on breathing and you'll be able to get your bearings.

4. Look for patterns. Being aware of your impatience also gives you a chance to learn from it and perhaps uncover a relationship or circumstance that is simply not healthy or constructive, and that you may have the power to change. Figure that out, and you can then think logically about the problem issue and decide whether or not your impatience is warranted or helpful. It usually isn't, but when it is you can then figure out ways to fix the root problem rather than simply feeling stressed about it.

5. Let go if you can't do anything about the impatience trigger. If there isn't anything that you can do to resolve whatever has triggered your impatience, just let it go. Easier said than done, yes, but it's possible, and it's the only healthy thing to do. Initially, you will probably find it difficult to let go if the matter is important to you--waiting to hear back after a job interview, for instance--but you should be able to alleviate impatience that's caused by issues of less consequence (i.e. waiting in line at the grocery store). If you make a concerted effort to be more patient in relatively inconsequential, short-term situations, you'll gradually develop the strength to remain patient in even the most trying and enduring situations.

6. Remind yourself that things take time. People who are impatient are people who insist on getting things done now and don't like to waste time. However, some things just can't be rushed. Think about your happiest memories. Chances are, they were instances when your patience paid off, like when you worked steadily towards a goal that wasn't immediately gratifying, or took a little extra time to spend leisurely with a loved one. Would you have those memories if you had been impatient? Probably not. Almost anything really good in life takes time and dedication, and if you're impatient, you're more likely to give up on relationships, goals, and other things that are important to you. Good things may not always come to those who wait, but most good things that do come don't come right away.

7. Expect the unexpected. Yes, you have plans, but things don't always work out as planned. Accept the twist and turns in life gracefully. Keep your expectations realistic. This applies not only to circumstances, but also the behavior of those around you. If you find yourself blowing up over your child or your spouse accidentally spilling a drink, you're not in touch with the fact that people aren't perfect. Even if the occasion is not an isolated incident but is instead caused by their repeated neglect and carelessness, losing your patience isn't going to make it any better. That's something to be addressed with discussion and self-control.

8. Give yourself a break. The meaning of this is twofold. First, take a few minutes to do absolutely nothing. Just sit quietly and think. Don't watch television; don't even read. Do nothing. It may be hard at first, and you may even feel pretty impatient after a minute or two, but by taking some time out you can essentially slow your world down, and that's important to develop the attitude necessary to develop patience. Second, stop holding yourself and the world around you to unreachable standards. Sure, we'd all be more patient if babies didn't cry, dishes didn't break, computers didn't crash, and people didn't make mistakes--but that's never going to happen. Expecting the world to run smoothly is like beating your head against the wall. Give yourself a break.

9. Remember what matters. Not focusing on what matters most in this life fuels impatience. Move the world toward peace by being kind, generous in forgiveness of others, being grateful for what is, and taking full advantage of what matters most. When other less important things fuel our impatience, taking time to remember any one of these items reduces our tendency to want something different right now.

2009-10-22T02:04:00.000-07:00

How to develop patience?

Here are some suggestions for you to develop patience. Just go through these simple suggestions and try to imbibe them in your daily life. Treat them as important principles to be followed so that you are able to practice patience.

Treat every work you do with equal importance. Always remember "work is worship". The more importance you give to a particular task, the more you get involved in it and you are able to do it with more precision. Be patient and you will complete any work with less efforts.

Remind yourself every time about the goals you want to achieve in your life. Be very strict about following certain strategies to achieve the goals in your life. When the question is about your career think seriously and stick to your goals.

Take any decision without hurrying. Take opinions of a few people before arriving at any final decision.

Follow examples of great people like Mahatma Gandhi, Gautam Buddha etc. Remember that they possessed lot of courage and patience to become what today they are recognized for today.

Try to give some time in a day for meditation. Practicing meditation is very helpful to increase your patience and courage.

Remember that there are some things in life which you will not be able to get before time. So wait for the right time.

Try to divide your main target in small targets if you are unable to complete it because of your impatience. Always try to complete your small goals first and then move on towards your bigger targets.

Do not do things which are unnecessary. For example some people have a habit of going out for shopping or eating without any reason. Think that rather wasting money on extra cheese in meals or an extra pair of shoes or dresses save that money for a rainy day.

Remember that God is always testing your patience in difficult times. So do not lose patience in any situation. Stay calm.
Even a small thing like standing in a queue requires patience. If you can do at least that you will be able to develop lots of patience within yourself. Think of pregnant women, how much patience they would require during nine months to give birth to a baby.

Many times in life we come across situations big and small that require us to be patient. Patience is the mother of all virtues. If you can be patient you can do anything.

我只有梦~i only have dream><

2009-10-22T01:25:00.000-07:00

今天，我的朋友~刘忆~说出了他的决定。
他想当一名老师。。
虽然微微带着惊讶，但还是在这里给于你慢慢的祝福，
祝福你~刘忆~希望未来的路，通往成功。
而另一位朋友，薏小姐呢，似乎也决定走向教学之路，
在此也先祝福她，下定决心，勇往直前~~
妮妮小姐~也开始开扩通往新加坡之路了~
恭喜恭喜~
这一篇呢，是为朋友们祝福地八^^
哈哈。。
因为看到大家从一开始的不确定到现在的拼命，
真得很感动。。
至于小羊咩咩呢~
也请不要太难过，毕竟未来的事，
谁也不能预料，说不定某年某月某一天，
翻开报纸，看到的，就是介绍你的杰出漫画家篇~~
哈哈。。
我们这一班，太多不确定，
太多的现实想法，
模拟了以后的人生，套用了一切重量在身上后，
我们还拥有青春吗？
青春的可贵不就是那勇往直前不顾一切的勇气吗？
我是个异类，也是个很彻底的没脑青年，
因为比起你们的顾虑考量，
我什么都没有，
拥有的剩下的，
就只是一个梦了，
一个支撑着我，继续努力，继续往前冲，向前走的能量了~
我曾经认为自己什么都没有，拼命想要捉着些什么当借口，
但其实，我有的，很多。
不要借口，不要痴妄，我清楚自己要什么。
我找不到实现的管道，我找不到想要的支持，
没关系。
我看得见自己的心。
我的梦想是我能抬起头来大声说的事，
无视耻笑不理解，
因为那就是我未来的投影。

actually....

2009-02-12T18:34:00.001-08:00

i view my blog n found tat,
i had wrote too many unhappy in my life,,
but actually i have lead a really happy,meaningful,n lovely life.
maybe its the human nature
always wrote down the bad but forget the happy memory
i think ,
its because i always put the happy things in my memory n heart
n vent out my unhappiness through words,literate,music,shout ,cry,
so the unhappy will leave me away n alone.
im a cheerful person
n also a sensitive person
going to graduate soon
i did feel sad to separate with al my friends
although i also no tat we still can contact still can meet
still r frens
we r going to fly
toward our future
the sky tat only blue for us
the cloud tat only fluffy n pure 4 us
my frens
pls dun ever forget me
cause u all will always live in my mind
u all r so important 4 me
without u all
im not going to be me
u all teach me a lot
n maybe i also teach u all a lot?
tat will be a question
but there was no doubt tat
i love u all so much
friends 4ever k?

真的事。。烦死了！！！！！！

2009-02-12T17:08:00.000-08:00

最近家里多来了一个小孩，
加上家里原本的小孩，
吵死人。
大人也烦，弄到我也烦，
去死啦。
那个带她来的大人又一直在那边烦，
弄到我很沮丧，
我需要安静丫，
我要准备考试。。。
我的个性根本就不能容忍家里，
我安静安心修养的地方，
出现任何一丝吵杂。
跟朋友很堕落得聊天后，
不要问我什么是很堕落，
那就是很沮丧消极，
很没有希望明天，
我买纸花和花纸，打算包束礼物给自己^^
happy valentine yo^^
muak

im so lazy.....

2009-02-02T03:48:00.000-08:00

wow...
its been so long since i wrote my last memory....
well...
ive been lead a good life...
eat a lot n play a lot during happy cny
but i had face many problems too...
tats someting ordinary as we always need overcome difficulties in our life...
now,im trying to learn many many things
as im going to live outside after this year...
tolerance,mature,manners,cook,tough,considerate,differentiate black n white,
be healthy,improve my language and knowledge,
its a hard job??
maybe~
but its sweet 4 me^^
all these things will prove my growth and improvement...
tats my proud.

开学了~~

2009-01-09T18:48:00.000-08:00

时间充分的被利用了~
活动多到连睡眠时间也被削减。。
五点多起床，在上学之前的这段时间，
小复习一些科目，做一些热身运动，
做心理建设，让自己的一整天都快快乐乐的~
放学后就补习，或练band，练吉他，复习，功课，yoga，
还有一些杂事，还有老师额外给的工作。。。
这个星期是我给自己的适应期，
可是我却忽略了家务，
每天被妈妈骂，威胁，我的天，压力压力压力！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！
该死的，想自残了。烦！
家庭，
你可以不支持我，你可以反对我，我他妈的不需要你这种无聊的东西，
但你最好不要威胁我。
我不想偏激，我还能控制自己，
我在慢慢适应，承受，把不合理变磨练，
我开始平静了。
少了帮手的确不容易啊。。
我会排时间出来，
我本来就会，
只是，
我很失望。
该有的体贴，你，
没做到，没给道。

新的一年了！

2008-12-31T21:54:00.000-08:00

新年新希望！
虽然很老套~
但却很真实~
在新的一年里，
我希望，
大家一起开开心心的面对考试，
一个接着一个，
不放弃彼此，
一起努力加油！
希望我们的友情能更深厚~
希望不要再有人离开我了！
不要离开我，不要离开我们这个大群体~
真的，
在我们这个如此年轻的岁月里，
不应该有人被死亡带走，
下个星期开学了，
也永永远远都见不到你了。。。。。。。。
你会永远活在我心里。
在这个应该无忧无知的年龄里，
我们却面对了过多的意外，
意外的早熟了。
意外意外意外。
我希望，
我能在我爱的人之后死去。
你们的痛苦，
我承担。
失去的痛苦，
我来背。

its countdown n happy new year!!!!!!!!

2008-12-31T07:54:00.000-08:00

wow
its so fun to hav fren with u to countdown althought u stay at home
we all contact through hp or pc
n as time passed we counted
minute per minute
second per second
3,2,1
n finally last
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!
WOW!!!!!
happy new year to all of u
hav a really happy n nice n great year^^
merry new year~~

寂寞。。因何而起？

2008-12-28T22:16:00.000-08:00

昨晚我很寂寞，
因为我想起你。
曾经渡过一个个寂寞的日日夜夜，
只因为想你。
以为想你，能驱散寂寞，
结果，
越想你，越寂寞。
我想我对自己说过，
如果爱上你等于爱上寂寞，
那我，
放弃。
前天看藤井树，
里头有句话，
我好像在一个没有男朋友的爱情里，
爱着一个男朋友。
其实没有很适合我，
因为我是一个人承担
两个人的爱情。
they said,
fallen in love is like both sought after 4 each other ,
but in the end of our love ,
i only found ,
the love between us ,
hav faded as time passed,
no reason
no1 can tell me the reason y ?
y u changed?
u always told me ,
pls,
i cant always be by ur side
o,
come on,
even the dog u nvr met also knov u r changing ,
even the rubbish also know tats not wat i want!shit 4 u
stop giving me excuse when u juz wan to hav ur own life,alone
use all ur time with urself.
tats not ur fault,actually,
if u dun hav a girlfriend
without me,
pls learnt to be cherish,
especially when u got her
dun let her felt she's like nothing to u
cherish be4 u lost her,not be4 u got her
understand?
damn shit for u
my last word.

。连接点~生活~我们。

2008-12-25T19:41:00.000-08:00

今天起床，
莫名的，
很想你们，
好想一起聚聚。
但，
我知道这很难。
因为我们拥有各自的生活，
做工，出去，各自精彩，各自忙碌。
并不是说这不好。
而是我们似乎忘了为友情加温，
突然好想念好怀念以前的我们，
坏坏的，会为了想睡觉逃学到他他他或他的家去，
那时的岁月不可能重复，
毕竟我们都已成长，
不再是那个不负责任的任性小孩，
现在的我们，
背负着未来的使命，
只能努力努力在努力的用双手撑起一片属于我们的天，
有时候真得好累，
那时的我们，
背靠着背，
谈着我们的梦想喜欢的人讨厌的事，
明明不累却会抱着你们撒娇，
大声地说，
好累哦！！！
那时我真得觉得好幸福，
因为我有你们，
我最值得骄傲的朋友们，
我爱你们，
真得很爱，
现在，
累了，
会想到我吗？
想到那个如此爱向你们撒娇的我，
我已经长大。。
有些事回不去。
但有些事却会一直继续下去。
就像我们的友情。
就算我们之间的联结点没有了，
也从彼此的生活中消失了，
但，
我相信，
人生路上我们一定还会拥着彼此，
心中的你们不曾模糊过，
心中的友情会一直继续，
朋友们，
加油~！！
未来路上有我和你和他他他他们，
我们不寂寞，
所以，
努力往梦想飞吧！

merry christmas~~~

2008-12-24T20:20:00.000-08:00

christmas lor~~~~~~~~~~
merry merry christmas
happy happy christmas
last nite my fren cheat me==
he said if hang ur sock on window,
den u will hav a big surprise!
none at all==
big liar
n stupid me~
haha,but can consider as a joke 2~
2day nothing to do,
help my mom make biscuit,
so delicious^^
cause i make it,haha.
but it is really nice.
i really wanna do my revision,
however i always finish half of it den play again.
i lack patient although i no patient is a virtual.
last nite party was quite boring actually
still enjoyable lar~
dunno the reason y,
i always wan a christmas present,
i believe the existence of santa claus but i never hope any present from him/her?
as in my opinion he/she will only give present to the western children.
my strange logic.
present ,
i love u~
haha...

its christmas eve~~~

2008-12-23T21:39:00.000-08:00

平安夜了~
今天开始努力摆脱懒散假期生活。。
明明知道已经来不及了。。
却还是不拿起课本。。
唉。。
加油加油吧。。
今晚在老师家有个爬地~
满新鲜的，毕竟是第一次参加这种活动。。
会很好玩吧？
算了，即去之则安置。。
刚刚接到紫薇（不知是否这样写）的电话，
很开心。。
真的。。
我想参加佛青的决定是肯定对的。。
虽然每次参加什么活动都要跟我妈闹革命或先斩后奏，
但，
这是我的人生我的决定我的想法，我想她能谅解。
仔细想想，
为什么刚开始生活的时候会闹得那么不愉快呢？
因为我们都不了解吧。。
也许我心里还藏有怨恨？
不无可能。
现在，我想我已经放下了。
过去就让它过去吧。。
我希望所有人都能幸福，
所有孩子不要离开父母，
太早承担现实，
会让心产生不必要的负担。
学习放松的生活，不要每天把自己绷得紧紧地。
不要让以前的事浪费现在的时间，
不要一直沉溺在过去。
有人说过，
现在是我们最该把握的时间，不要让过去的回忆和未来的梦想占据现在。
我还需要学习很多，改变缺点，克服阴影。
16岁的人生，很年轻。
年轻是叛逆的起源，冲动的借口，伤痕的理由，
我爱现在的岁月。
让我们诚实做自己展现自己。
最棒的自己。
很多人说我喜欢，
用微笑掩饰痛楚，
佯装坚强的笑脸，
伪装心底的脆弱。
那现在，
我做回自己吧。
有时候，
明白不一定要点破，
有时候，
理性成熟的我，
突然转换成天真地我。
任性的我。
孩子气的我。
那都是我。
越是跟我熟识，
越了解我的真性情。
请不要把一开始认识的我和熟识后的我做比较，
因为那不能比较^^