trash bin

i need a trash bin
i cant bear to tell anyone bout my bad mood n bad experience n bad feelings
for i know
negative emotions spread far more easy than positive's
i do not want any of my accquaintance to feel it
to feel how bad how terrible i am feeling now

am during the female suffer day
feeling extremely dizzy and pain
hang myself on n went to college
was hoping for a fresh start to wash away all my negativity
instead of that
my atm card was rejected by the (bad word)atm machine
when i was fighting with the machine's electric force to push my card back inside it
to protect itself virginity
the (bad wordsssss)machine actually exert pressure through my card n hurt my flesh between finger n nail><
it bleed man!
ok,i forgave the ignorance and gulible machine since it do not possess a brain

but one of my course mate whom certainly growth with brain cell
did throw my practical booklet until it tore when i went over to take it n also to give him the newspaper he wanted just to warn me not to go any closer and nearer?
what on earth?
have i been living in the moon before this?

the dxxnest which happened was
someone kicked the vinegar i bought n kept n brought to college for the chemistry practical
and my vulnerable glass vinegar-container
kissed with the cement floor
then
then
then
broke into pieces with splashed of last blood which color was pure clear-crystal
i sadly
picked up the last part of its bodies
n had an intimate close touch with its blood which made me nearly scream out due to the painfulness i felt of my wound
i understood,its soul was unrest.

last part of my dxxn day
i went to buy a new vinegar
when i was on my way
feeling extremely tired n feed up way
i'd received a msg
we had got vinegar,no worries.
OK.
i understood.
thats y i went home straightly n directly without even bother to tell anyone.

its sxxks to be a class rep
its even sxxks to ruin everything i had prepared for long
today was so suxxs until i wan to cry.

冷冷清清

冷冷清清淡淡
念家的我
恋人的心
时时刻刻
问着问着。。。
明月到底何时照我还？

跟好朋友保持距离
跟陌生人聊心事
心寒它的过于真实
丫或惊于它于自己的神似度？

文化不是差异
语言不是障碍
年龄不是问题
那么沟通方式呢？

家人

让我喘不过气
让我做不成真实的自己
我做什么都不对
那为何你们还要管？
让我做自己
让我做我该做的事
让我符合我的宿命
让我飞。

hey,man!

u knew wat u had done on me
and i knew tat exactly too
but tat dont drives me near u

i love u

now or before?
forever or present?

i have been tired of being what people expected me to be
tired of being someone who ppl loved
tired of wearing maskssss which cause sometimes i dun even know who i am
which one will be the real me
for only today？

moody is like a protection and armour
r u mask-ing it becoz of its security?
becoz tat can scare ppl off far away from u?
i dunno wat i am talking about now.

only when i pray
only when i can feel god's presence
my mind is at ease
only then i can rest
as HE will bring love n peace into my heart
GOD loves me
no matter who i am
no matter what i have done
cause ho understand me
even know me
deep more inside than me
as he had created me.
go with lord.
praise GOD.

何去何从？

曾经那么坚定的方向
彷徨了吗?
曾经那么远大的目标
因为现实的磨练
而
而淡忘了吗？
哈
我不准
我不许
你，
似个凡人般
忘记梦想
忘记飞翔
忘记快乐
忘记理想
忘记未来
。

我将带你通往你要的。
这是我对你的承诺
我会做到。
在这之前
不要让任何人事物
带你遁入
黑涯。

shall we be together,forever?

i know im asking too much
i know im insensible
just that
wat if we can stick together for all of our life
how awesome will tat be?
cant imagine tat rite^^
told u ~
tat will be simply wonderful.

i love u all so so so so so so(x100000000)much
i dunwan to separate with any of u
but the fact is impossible to be conquer by the virtual...
and im learning to accept it as a part n parcel of human's life
and also one of the vital district from growth cycle

i understand if we didnt separate
we will never learn what we have to
n we will all crammed in the same place n fighting for air and space
certainly n definitely
we deserved more than that
much more than.

so we all could bear the pain of segregation
for the day of success which will savor by us sweetly
we will learn more n meet more n be far more experience than
what we r now
we will grow
we will hurt
we will recover
and somehow we may lost some precious personality during our period
of war of survivor
but i sincerely hope tat n know tat
the tendency of our all's heart would never ever disappear

love u all deep in my heart n my soul
and i use to believe tat u all love me as different of my way but same of my depth too until forever^^
haha